H
O
M
E

VOID where prohibited
 by Community Standards.
 You must be worthy. 

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 It looks like the Real Thing!  

 EVOLUTION OF THIS PAGE

To print, click on the image. You must be  worthy to use.  we're sorry, but temple recommends are only good for  one year because you may not be worthy much longer than that.

You need to be checked out again. Please remember to LOCK your clothes in the lockers before doing temple ordinances.  Lockers are provided for you, free of charge. This will remind you to NOT accidentally walk out with someone else's' belongings.

Void where prohibited.  This pass is also  valid on the following planets:
KOLOB, OLIBLISH, and various other ORBS.

Note:  For SECURITY REASONS, the months are shown in English.  You will speak the name of your month of birth, In Adamic, the language of KOLOB.  How?  Click here.  Your temple-password will be your month of birth, whilst making the "Sure Sign of the Nail" -- How?  Click here.

 Secret Mormon Handshakes 

    Photo Courtesy NOMO.COM


CAUTION!   For planet ENISH-GO-ON-DOSH,  you must apply for a pass in REFORMED Kolabish -- coming soon. NEW   NEGROES apply here.

Remember, YOU MUST BE WORTHY!
If you fail to do this the temple doors will not open.  Once inside, be sure to lock up your valuables -- a locker is reserved for you!

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Did you see a Nephite?
Please...
Call
 1-800-NEPHITE

Real Nephite Sightings

 

Letters ...
...about this site NEW 
 

Links:
Temple Questions [pic]

Fade to Black Comedy
Avoid the horizontal
1897 Recommend [pic]

THIS WEB SITE IS TRUE AS FAR AS IT HAS BEEN TRANSLATED CORRECTLY

     FAQ:
Q:  How do I become worthy?
A: There is no need!  If you have THIS temple recommend, you ARE automatically worthy, wink wink , nudge nudge ;)

Q:  How can I enter the temple,  if I don't want to use this phony temple recommend?
A:  We'll usually let you in anyway,  if you just PROMISE to pay the 10% in the future.   But  you should pay 10% of this month's income, as earnest money. 
     We  trust you, as far as you can be trusted correctly.

Q:  If I don't want to use your phony piece of shit, on this site, can I purchase a REAL one --  on eBay?
A:  Yes.  Search under "Genuine Mormon Temple Pass".

Q:  I'm BLACK.  Will I be accepted?
A: You are a descendent of CAIN, a Negro.  But we treat you as one of our own.   Mormon Temple locations, but NOT in Africa.  Why?

Q:  I don't believe this website!  Is this for real?
A: Yes.  Look here.

Q:  I'm a Neo-NAZI.  Will I be accepted into the [external] Idaho Temple?
A: Yes, if you are worthy.  Gott mit uns, we say.  
    (You may apply for your temple recommend, with your special Logo:
Hakenkreuzor print your own -- coming soon.)

  NEWS    The Urim mine was discovered by BYU anthropologists in upstate New York.  Film at eleven.

"Every man has a natural, and, in our 
country, a constitutional right to be a 
 false prophet, as well as a true prophet." 

--Joseph Smith, King Follett
Discourse

It seems that  the GOVERNMENT which religion is true and which is false... Or is this TRUE  freedom of speech?
 

...I say there things in the name of Jesus Christ®
The words
"Jesus Christ®"
are part of LDS
registered trademark.


http://home.teleport.com/~packham/recomm.htm

 

Monty
Python's
Flying Circus:

Set 1,
Episodes 1-6

(1970)

Monty
Python's
Flying
Circus:

Set 2,
Episodes 7-13

(1970)

Pick one up for a friend!    Wink wink , nudge nudge.
More Humour

This web page is funny as far as it has been UNDERSTOOD correctly.  All religions are FALSE, except Mormonism.  Our Temple is on the only TRUE path to Heaven. Material for this web page is derived from Mormon scripture and from Mormon sources, documents and papyri.  Inspiration, faith and prayer played a big part.  This web page is true as far as it has been translated correctly. PAY LAY ALE.

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All right reserved.  © February, 2003