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Email received will be published, with name of author and email address.
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The Thanks I get... [2] [3] [4] [5] |
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Email received will be published, with name of author and email address. |
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Subject: I am very sorry
Date: Wed, 14 Feb 96
I do not know if you ever received my other email, but if you did I would
like to apologize for what I said. After reading your web page, I began to
think and to question what I believed. I realized that I did in NO way
agree with the church even on some of there basic principles. I was a
recent convert and very excited, but I failed to question myself or the
church. When I finally began to, I noticed that it was looked down upon to
question any of the church's teachings. I am leaving the church and
planning on looking for another church that encourages questions and concurs
with my beliefs in the scriptures.
I am very sorry for jumping on you and your web page. This probably
does not mean anything to you but without you and your web page, I
would have married a return missionary in the San Diego Temple this
September. I thank you sincerely for helping me to realize that blind faith
is not right.
Sincerely,
(name not published)
Reply:
I remember your letter. I get many like it because of my web-page, and they seemed hopeless to answer. But I was wrong. I'm happy to hear that you have re-examined Mormonism. Letting me know that I have affected your life in a good way means a lot to me.
I showed my girlfriend your letter just now, and her first and only reply was, verbatim: "You should attack her for joining another church." My sentiments, exactly. JoEllen, my friend, it's not over until it's over.
The reason - not the main reason - why I chose to attack Mormonism is that it is a particularly easy target. Mormonism is a recent religion, it has a long and wide trail of deception (see "No Man Knows my History" by Fawn Brodie, for example). Christianity, has the same problems, but it seems more natural to us because of its antiquity and because of its firm entrenchment in our culture. I could almost as easily have written, made fun of, and emphasized in my sometimes unkind way, the goofy Wholly Babble stories we are expected to believe, hook-line- and-sinker. I could have examined the evidence for believing in gods of any kind; but others have done this much better than I.
I am very happy for you that you have found a way to shed yourself of this particular religion. You also saved yourself a pretty penny by taking this action. Your tithing would have added up to a substantial amount over your life. You have also save me -- yes, me, some real money. The ten percent you would have given the churches, if you live in the United States, would have been tax deductible?. Uncle Sam would have come to me, hand out-stretched, and asked me to make up the difference. Thank you for that. (And ask them for a refund, while you're at it, after all, that money was extracted under false pretenses!)
I wish you goodness in your life. I'm glad to have made a difference, and thank you for telling me. I want to remind you of the sentiment my woman expresses, and I want to close by telling you: Question Everything. Except for the previous sentence, of course! :)
LINKS:
Fawn Brodie; No Man Knows My History: The Life of Joseph Smith
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To: comments
Date: Saturday, April 03, 1999
Subject: Web site....
Very interesting!
Does the temple ceremony strike anyone else as just a little heavy
handed and ritualistic, and this from a church that professes no rituals? By
being threatened with your life, the members are kept from discussing what
goes on there. When the idea that the Masonic teachings predate Mormonism is
presented, the Mormons say that the Masonic rituals are a corruption of the
rituals practiced in Solomon's temple, and have been brought back in their "true"
and correct form, inspired by the Lord through Joseph Smith!
By admonishing members not to read, what they call "anti-Mormon
literature" they keep them completely indoctrinated, while professing to
allow everyone to think for themselves. It is interesting to note, however,
when other groups and religions attempt to disclose what the Mormon religion
teaches, they always manage to misrepresent it and their list of beliefs as
held by LDS members is usually incorrect.
There is only one "true" answer to most of everything in the LDS
church, from policies, to "commandments" to interpretation of the scriptures
to using only "approved" literature for church classes and meetings. The
reliance on "modern day revelation" allows for all kinds of changes to be
implemented. Even revelation is deemed appropriate only for your specific
"calling" in the church.
Did it occur to anyone that Joseph Smith, in "translating" the
"golden plates" into the Book of Mormon, behind his curtain, with a scribe
(wife, Emma and others at different times) on the other side with his Urim
and Thumim (which are, after all-seer stones!) was a terrific "channeler" or
"medium!" Did anyone ever actually "see" Joseph Smith translate anything?
Makes one wonder.
It is unfortunate that anyone who challenges the Mormon religion;
it's practices and teachings, is almost always branded as someone who has an
ax to grind, bitter, or angry or had his feelings hurt. The standard
reasoning in the LDS church is that they are being influenced by "Satan."
The other standard retort is: "the church is true, but the people aren't"
Then follows the big "forgiveness," challenge. Somehow, anyone who has had a
bad experience, been hurt, or challenges the teachings, needs to practice
"forgiveness." This plays into the "Satan" thing which is their big ace in
the hole as it explains everything that isn't totally in line with LDS
teachings. Every teaching is seen as either "right" or "wrong," and right is
"true" and "wrong," is from Satan!
The teachings of Jesus from the Bible, when practiced can certainly
enhance and make meaning of our lives. One can't argue with such ideas as:
love your neighbor as yourself, as I have loved you, love one another, and on
and on. There are obviously great lessons in the scriptures, as there are in
any sacred literature and that holds true for the four standard works of the
LDS church the Articles of Faith, etc. It is the standard, only true
"interpretation" as held by the LDS church that challenges logic and
reasoning.
The idea that there is only one true church is a bit arrogant and
pompous. The Mormons are not alone in that claim. The Catholic church says
the same thing! But then, what would a false church be? How can a belief
system be classified as true or false? It is a matter of faith, and faith
only works if you believe it! We are not talking about science here, or facts
for that matter much of the time.
There should be nothing wrong with talking about anything in any
church, and that includes the temple ceremony in the LDS church. Why would
there be any reason to NOT discuss the ceremony? What could possibly be
wrong with that? And, it makes one wonder, if the temple ceremony, as
participated in my thousands of members all over the world is so "sacred" it
cannot be discussed, how many other, so-called "sacred" things go on? If the
masses can be subjected to absolute secrecy, (of course, the threat that your
life will be taken can make one just a little hesitant to reveal anything!)
surely the leaders (all men, by the way) can easily be subjected to even more
secrecy, especially if they are told that there are certain rituals and
policies that are to be held so sacred they cannot be revealed. Certainly
gives one pause!
There is another discussion of the idea that the women is to follow
the man, and the temple promises there are a bit daunting. Never mind the
idea that both men AND women are anointed to be kings, and queens, and given
the garment of the holy priesthood to wear. And then the men figure they are
the only ones who "hold" the priesthood? That is another whole discussion!
And of course, there is the "money" and "power" thing that is at the bottom
of most organizations. I have concluded that "organized religion" is an
oxymoron!
These are just a few of my thoughts on the subjects as presented in
your web page. I would be interested in chatting with others who may have
similar thoughts and ideas.
Thank you.
SuzziesCA@hotmail.com
To: info
Date: Sunday, April 18
Subject: Yikes!
Living as a Catholic kid in Salt Lake City, I grew up with the suspicion that Mormons were a little "different" from everyone else. There were other Christian denominations there - Methodist, Lutheran, etc., and my mother is Baptist, but none of those other flavors of Christianity had the oddness I sensed from the Mormon religion. Little did I know how just how odd! Kolob?
Spirit children? Extra-terrestrial polygamy? I'll make it a point to discuss some of these things with my Mormon friends here in Arizona.
Thanks for the enlightenment,
Chris
Eric,
I just wanted to write and say thanks for the great site. A group of Mormons go about my town, and try to convert folk to their religion. After listening to them over at my girlfriends apartment a few times (She really gets a kick out of their speeches), I decided to do some research on the Mormon
religion. This site is truly eye opening to the Mormon beliefs. I never new that God practiced
Polygamy, or that there were people living on the moon. I guess they eat the cheese up there. The next time they are trying to convert us, I will have to discuss these points with them.
Thanks Again
Aaron
To: mormast
Sent: Tuesday, June 01, 1999
Subject: Masturbation
I think that this site is great, It is about time that some one tried to clean the earth of Masturbation. I am not a Mormon but I have recommended this site to others in the hopes that they will turn to Christ. As for those that say that it is God's will, the Bible has the story of Onan, who spilled his seed on the ground and that God was very displeased. Also the Bible states that our bodies are made in the image of God and that we should respect our bodies as we respect a church. I hope that you will continue to help those in need and ignore all of the letters from those who say that this sin is within God's will.
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----- Original Message -----
From: aefstratis@venocoinc.com
To: info
Sent: Thursday, June 03
Subject: I like it!
This is a great synopsis of the Mormon "plan of salvation." I have been practicing for years and there is just far too much information to say that I know it all.
This article makes a mockery of the religion, but there are still
interesting facts and information.
Joseph Smith was quoted in the early 1800's, "there are more worlds in the universe than sands on the seashore."
It's fun to watch astrology try and catch up with divinity.
Good Luck!
Andy Efstratis
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To: comments-mormons1>
Sent: Wednesday, June 09, 1999
Subject: LMAO
As an "ex-mormon for Satan" I want to thank you for the chuckles. Do you have any forms I can download for tithing rebates. I want to cash in my celestial IRA early. The penalty, of course, is sanity. However, that can be tempered by good doses of heretofore prohibited alcohol.
By the way, where were you when I needed you at that zoo in Provo? I can't wait to send my ex-wife/RS President to this site. She thought I was the only one. Maybe she can acquire a sense of humor as one of her spiritual gifts.
thanks again.
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To: info>
Sent: Monday, June 14, 1999
Subject: honesty and mormons
I wish I had a dollar from every mormon who has denied knowing about Kolob only to detract their statements when I hit them with the facts from their own writings, many new mormon converts are shocked when they learn about these "teachings", I have to wonder about mormon ethics and honesty when they don't just lay everything out on the line to people. thank you, mike
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To: comments-mormons1
Sent: Tuesday, June 15, 1999
Subject: WOW!!
A friend of mine is dabbling in this religion, and I was concerned, so I was looking around, and stumbled across your web site. Over the course of a couple of days [...] I read just about your entire site. I have to say this is an incredible site. Well written. I like that much of what is said uses the book of Mormon to debunk the book of Mormon. I feel like I know a lot more because of your site. Thank you. I would like to see more about some of the Wacky beliefs having to do with other planets, and how the diagram that shows "you" as the god of your own "earthlike" planet with the whole cycle repeating. With more reference to the Mormon book so I can show my friend where it is written in the book that says he too can become a god!!!
Thanks again.
Erik
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I was looking for info on Kolob/extraterrestrials/etc. and surfed on into
your site. Very interesting and informative! I'm an ex-mormon who now
gives the church very little of my time or attention, except when I'm
hiding from the missionaries or other representatives who continually try to re-indoctrinate me. I find their esoteric doctrines and Masonic links fascinating, and am interested in anything on the subject.
Another interesting read: The Gods of Eden>>, which links this occult mormon doctrine to extraterrestrials. While I'm not committed to any belief in ufos, etc., I am a student of the bizarre, and explore fringe theories (like mormon doctrine) with great pleasure!
I also enjoyed the masturbation article. I'd originally read it in <<The Progressive>> (I think) and have been looking for it ever since.
Keep up the good work! Thanks for helping me remember with crystal clarity exactly why I am no longer a mormon.
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Sent: Monday, July 26, 1999
To: info
Subject: THANK YOU
I have to thank you so much for your web site. I have been struggling for the past several months in discovering the truth of mormonism. It has been emotionally draining to say the least and your site gave me the laugh that I needed!! It really isn't funny the distortions that the church gives us members but as I'm beginning to look back it IS rather ridiculous!! Anyway, I just wanted to tell you thanks!!!
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Sent: Monday, August 09
To: info
Subject: Non member who attended BYU
It has been twenty-nine years since I attended BYU. This article is amazing. I knew about some of this nonsense but it is definitely treated as the "meat not the milk" of their doctrine. I never joined the church (Praise GOD) and left BYU with disdain for what I saw they believed in. I was so young and naive. I have often wanted to send my Mormon girlfriend my Christian testimony since you know I received hers not long after I left BYU.
We do send Christmas cards but I am no longer invited for visits to her parents home when she is in our area. Her mother gave me a novel to read about the subject you describe. When I was in high school. My mother died when I was fourteen. She told me my mother wanted me to read this book, she just knew it. I took it as fiction. Now, and I find this is hard to believe, I realize they really believe this garbage! Why don't they talk about this in one of their TV commercials? Their true believes need to be exposed more and more. The new Mormon temple is giving tours in Spokane this week. I am really thinking about attending. I want to "people watch" mostly and watch the reactions around me.I found your site thru #1 on www.exmormon.org. I have spent many weeks on all of the material and there is so much. Thank you for this information.
WS
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Sent: Monday, October 11, 1999
Subject: You Website
Dear friend,
thank you for the manifold laughs I had. I can't take it anymore!!! :-) Here some comments about your superb site. I was LDS for 23 years. Joined the church at age 16, was tracted out by the Elders. I lived in Berlin / Germany at that time. I have British/German ancestors.
4 1/2 years ago I left the church. Had been a missionary (England -Leeds- Mission), married in the temple, had various church callings (member of two bishoprics, high councilor, seminary teacher etc.) About 3 years ago I took my first strolls in the Internet. It was actually an internet cafe in Hanover/Germany, were I was living at the time. After a few hours a made a search on Mormonism. One of the first pages I bumped into was yours. I think Eric Kettunen's "Recovery" was the first and there was a link to yours.
I actually couldn't believe my ides. Your page wasn't as large as it now is, but your kind of humour was simply outrageous! I was actually 39 years old at that time, it was early afternoon, I was in my working cloths (suit), sitting with 40 others folks (most of them kids, age 12-18). Now and then I would ask one of my neighbours to give me hints how to move around in the internet. After I found your page my giggling started. After a while I found the page with the garments picture. Goodness, I just laughed so badly. A bunch of the folks came across, wondering what was going on. Now, naturally these kids have no idea what backgrounds your picture had, nevertheless, their comments were the sort of: "Cool (yep, they use that slang over here too), cloths!", "Great underwear, sexy!", "Huh?", "Geil, ey" (geil, the most coming filler over here meaning randy). Everybody had a great laugh.
I come back to your pages now and then just for the laughs. Great stuff. It has the Monty Python touch IMHO! I just have to see that Kolob/universe picture and I have a big laugh. Keep it up.
I also could need your help. One of your masterpieces is the one about the temple work for the Nazis. Staggering actually! I heard the rumour about it before, when I was still LDS. Was never able to confirm it. Question: You mention that Mr. Roberts has copies of the temple ordinance records. Also
other ICI copies and ancestral file copies. Is it possible to have copies of these copies. I would like to translate some of this stuff into German and make available to a German audience. Facts, proof is important to me. I'm working on a German Website putting the spotlight on the church. Can you help?
Greetings, James Field
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Sent: Wednesday, December 08, 1999
Subject: Though I haven't read it all, I find your site intriguing
I especially like some of your replies to comments that have come before,
about not taking what is said on blind faith, and getting an education to
know how things work. Though those already blinded by the propaganda of the
Mormon church (or any church) might criticize you, I support you whole
heartedly.
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Sent: Wednesday, December 15,
Subject: WOW!
Hi there, love the site, mean it. Call me Paranoid, and I may sound like
an old senile man with a shotgun here, but this Mormon Church thing is scary!
I think they might seriously be trying to take over the world! I left the
church over a month ago after stumbling onto your site along with about 13
others once I got going. The things I read blew me away! Also helping me
out were the book "The Mormon Mirage", and the great flick SLC Punk, which
every Mormon should see. Well, if they were allowed to, which they're not.
But seriously, the LDS Church is involved in some of the most blatant
document alteration, cover-ups, and brainwashing seen since the days of the
Nazis! Anyone who's read Orwell's 1984, (or has seen the Matrix by golly!!!)
should take immediate note!!! Members are brainwashed and herded like sheep,
and actually referred to as sheep! The money is sucked out, along with time,
work, etc. The Mormon Church is eviiiiiiiil!!!!! Sure they do some good
things, and most of the members have honest hearts, but the bad they do far
outweighs the good. Thank you for caring enough to produce this fantastic
website!! The estimates are that in 80 years the Mormon Church will be 263
million people!!!! WE MUST STOP THEM!!!! I could foresee a day when they
will rebuild the army of Zion, and bring the Danites back into existence!!!
Let's just shut em' down now!!!! All Power to the People!
Thanks, Jared, NC
Sent: Wednesday, March 15, 2000
What an awesome piece of religious satire! I wish I had your talent. I belong to a Tibetan Buddhist sect which has a cosmology just as elaborate and absurd as the LDS do. The fundamentalist mind set among the devotee is just as strong as in the CJCLDS, so of course the humourless idiots believe every word that they are told. (Except oddly enough the gurus, who seem to regard us as just a little more than insane - they treat everything they say with humour and detachment, much the same attitude a parent would adopt towards kids who confuse mythical truth with literal truth).
Thanks again
Deane
(PS I'm a student of religion, and I know enough about the LDS to catch most of the jokes).
Sent: Saturday, April 17, 2094 1:25 AM
Subject: Heavenly Mother
Hi - I love your site, you have gathered great stuff. I am going crazy with a question - where did you learn that the mormon heavenly mother's name is Gonhorra? I cannot find anything online that references teaching about "Heavenly Mother". Some mormons were excommunicated for talking about it. I would really love to know where that name came from.
Thanks very much.
Kirsten
Subject: Thank-God for Sanity-
Sirs:
I was a drunken adulterer and frequent masturbator until one day, in the
County Drunk Tank in Evanston Wyoming, I was approached by two LDS
missionaries who said they could change my life...of course I
scoffed...but I chose (being very bored at the time) to listen to them;
eventually I realized that their message of hope, forgiveness and of a
new life was too powerful for me to ignore.
I accepted Jesus as my personal Saviour and those two hot, wet, tight
Provo-county nympho-sluts as my personal fuck-dolls...and baby, we're
still working on demolishing the 10 Commandments...I even let my Bishop
give me head after he watched me lick and penetrate those two
ex-missionaries, although he reeks of whiskey and tobacco...two sinful
substances I abhor. Those are the two hottest women I have ever met...no
wonder you Bishops try to keep them all to yourselves...if they aren't
licking and sucking me they are all over each other! YOWZOW! You all
got a great little religion going, there, dudes...just don't expect me
to tithe anytime soon....
When is the Church Hierarchy gonna become more democratic and admit that
they like to suck and f*ck, as much as anybody else, and that they are
every bit as sinful as we wicked we? It would also be nice of them to
admit to their fraudulent directives, the fact that they treat
minorities like second-class citizens and their women like chattel
property...but I expect that would be like getting The Taliban to admit
they had made a few, relatively insignificant, doctrinal errors in
interpretation of the Koran...HMMM?
Most Mormons I have met are decent and good people...it's the leadership
that is sinful, wicked, corrupt and a bunch of lying bastards (they
obviously took instruction from The Vatican)...
I just wish people weren't so weak and insecure that they fell for this
obvious bullsh*t.
Can I go now? I've spent all my spleen and need to go, lie down naked
in my bed and *refresh* myself.
Hey, what's up? I recently came home from my mission about three months. I've been a member my entire life. I went on my mission to find out if the church was true or not and you know what? I found out! Yep, I definitely know for a fact that the church isn't true. I mean honestly, let's look at this from a logical point of view.
Of all the arguments raised against the church they really only have a few worn out answers and a person's testimony as an answer, and what is a testimony? Don't they think members of radical religions have a testimony when they strap a bomb on their back and blow up an airplane? If anyone would just step back and look at it objectively, unencumbered by years of brainwashing and guilt, the simplest answer is correct. The Mormon religion is not true.
Well that is basically what I wanted to say, I can't really add anything to your site here you did a good job. I think you would like to know that when I was a missionary various church leaders came to visit us and they said that baptisms and retention of converts were at an all time low in thirteen years and for the last thirteen years they have been steadily declining. Interesting, eh? I also think this is the reason why the church has decided to push building smaller more easily accessible temples around the world. They are trying to stop the flood of people going inactive. After all, the temple is the final and highest stage of the brainwashing process.
I think the whole reason the Church was successful to begin with is because they were geographically isolated for almost 100 years. But now the world is starting is starting to seep in, the hive is becoming contaminated, people's minds are becoming more open and they are trying to maintain but it isn't working. I think we have seen the height of the Mormon Church's power and it is all downhill from here.
I wanted to thank you for your site, I went into it with thoughts that
Mormonism and Christianity were the same, and I left feeling very
differently. My Aunt and I were having a discussion on Mormonism, and so I
decided to look it up on the web, you see I am Presbyterian, and I have many
Mormon friends. I also have a very avid Baptist friend, and she had told me
that Mormonism is wrong, and her theories on why (including that Mormons
added onto the Bible, when it says in Revelation that adding to it is a sin)
but my thought was that if you believed in God and asked his forgivness that
you would go to heaven, and that how would we know that Mormonism is wrong,
have we talked to God, I know I have, but he hasn't sent me a burning bush
telling me that Mormonism is wrong, not yet anyway. And so, by looking on
your site and many others, I have learned much more about Mormonism, and now
I have a lot more questions, which maybe you will be kind enough to answer.
1. how was God first a human, how was the Earth created, how was Adam and
Eve the first people if God was on the earth before them?
2. How can mormons call themselves Christians when:...
[ a LONG list of technical bible questions -- deleted ED]
Sent: Tuesday, July 18
Subject: UK TV Show
Mastur Philes,
I'm Assistant Producer on a show called 'Frontal' that will broadcast in the
UK on Channel 4 from August 18th. Each week we are going deal with all the
that is current in popular culture.
I have been on to your web-site over the last couple of days, and its
fantastic and in particular 'The Mormon Guide to Masturbation'........Is
this for real??
Either way I'd like to make contact with you, with a view to doing a feature
on the above.
Steven Regan
Tel: 0044 207 462 9612
Speak Soon.
Steven Regan
Initial TV
Associate Producer
Tel : 0207 462 9612
Fax : 0207 462 9566
Mob : 07718 566 813
Thank you for your humorous and revealing Web Page. I already was in the
process of leaving the Church but had never actually SEEN the garments so I
do thank you for that...I have that image emblazoned on my brain of what I
would have been stuck wearing for my whole life, day in and day out, had I
continued to the Temple (I had my recommend in hand when I began to doubt)
I do feel a need to share that I want to remain a Christian. I do believe in
God's grace and the gift of his Son. He loves us all, especially you! I
hope that you can feel his love one day. Thanks again for the entertainment.
It was hard for me to see the humor at first of almost being sucked into
these obvious lies but laughing helps! THANKS.
Sent: Thursday, August 17, 2000
Hello there! I found your site through a Google search (on "atheism") and I must say, it one of the more entertaining and interesting sites devoted to the subject that I have seen. Since your site deals with lighter material, as well as the serious stuff, I wanted to call your attention to an original song by my band, which you and other fellow-atheists might find amusing. It's called "Fuck Christianity." Our live performances of the song include stage business with a giant papier-mache Bible and, at the end, tossing a bucketful of tacky Christian trinkets and the goofiest tracts we can find, into the audience. You can hear the song and see performance photos by clicking on the following:
http://www.odorofpears.com/gallery/fuckx/fuckx.htm
I hope you enjoy it.
Sincerely,
Diana
Ha ha ha ha ha! That's really funny! The Jive Version killed me! I hope
that you don't get into trouble with the Mormon Church for this because it's
freaking hilarious!
Keep up the good work.
Date Sun, 5 Mar 2000
Subject ex mormon
So glad to have this info. I never knew this was around when I removed my name from the records. had to learn the hard way. keep up the good work.
From: James
Sent: Thursday, April 12I just read your entire webpage (it took me a while). I loved it!
I too have serious doubts about what they're really up to. I would even go
so far as to conclude that Joseph Smith didn't write those book at all, and
was probably written by a mob of theologians, whose intentions (whatever
they may be) are probably based on as much truth, enlightenment and faith as
Ronald McDonald. In every religious text, you always find these ambiguous
truths about beginnings and ends (not to mention the middle part). Even in
the Greek Hesiod (their creation story, which begins 'In the beginning there
was chaos, then came broad bosomed eart......sound familiar?), and moreover
in the bible, 'nothing, light, God, Earth, blah blah'. Well, the same goes
for Mr J Smitty....they could have made ANYthing up about how it started. I
mean, who was there?
I'll tell you what would be nice, and better to study...a REALLY old 'big
book of M'...I reckon that little baby has been updated a whole bunch of
times! Ever wondered why they publish so many? All the Mormons I know are
always getting new ones...and they're so boring, they'd never notice little
changes. It'd be like noticing that a bit of tomato moved in your tomato
soup! Anyway, what happened to the bit about polygamy anyway? I can't find
it? Taken pout me thinks?!
The connection with the Masons also raises serious worries? I mean,
tithing, just where does it go? Hmmm? 'Charity' they say, but you know,
charity doesn't = giving money, or am I mistaken!? Whatever, SOMEone is
rich.
But anyway, God being all knowing knew I'd think that....and in fact, he
knew everything I have, and am about to do. So, if I'm 'evil', he would
have made me in the knowledge of that. Kind of like making a car, with a
wheel loose.....you KNOW it's gonna come off and crash. So IF it's true,
when you die and get judged, don't be surprised if HE doesn't look
surprised!
An important thing to remember is that the victors also write the history.
And a though crossed my mind that went along the lines of our friend Luke
Skywalker and his chums! What if Satan isn't a bad guy at all? What IF God
is this mean, old, grumpy sugar daddy to a thousand wives kind-a-bloke, and
Satan is this cool freedom fighter? Well, what I do know is that IF this
brilliant hoax IS true, is that Satan will need some 'physical' people to
help him spank the big guy. And if that makes me a Satan worshipper, then
all hail the horned king!
And as a final note...if a religion can infiltrate your own personal
sexuality, what CAN'T it do. That's one of the most human things about
us....we even have 'bit's made especially FOR that. A good read is
Nietzsche, he has some stuff to say about religion and how is was made.
Weak people who converted 'good and bad' to 'good and evil'. Makes sense to
me! "He has more money than me, and gets all the girls....crap, he's EVIL,
I'm GOOD, cause I'm chaste (AKA ugly) and humble (poor)!
Anyway, have fun....and try to be human, for 'as the shadow of God
encroaches, so does the shame of being human'!
Oh dear, poor mormons!
James
+---------------------------------------------------+
Thank you for reporting!
+---------------------------------------------------+How I rate this site: 6 ( http://nowscape.com/mormon/lot/onan1a.htm )
Sex Female
Age 34
Remarks How did you hear about us? Comments?
Quite funny!
There should be more in your website about how when Lot fled,
after his wife turned into salt....his daughters got him drunk
and had sex with him to carry on the family name.
Nobody ever talks about it, but there it is, plain as day.
THANK YOU!!
Sent: Wednesday, May 02, 2001
Subject: Thanks for an amazing laugh...
My father was raised Mormon and never bought into it. I used to get beat
up on the way to school in Salt Lake City for not being Mormon. Somehow,
when I mention this to missionaries when they come to my door, they all
manage to look a little ashamed. I wonder how many nice "gentile" kids
they had to harass before earning the coveted title of "elder"...
I admit to having a certain amount of bias against the LDS church, but
your site is just amazing. It'd even be funny if so many people didn't buy
into it.
Ok, it's still funny.
Keep it up. I'll apologize for finding the Mormon religion ridiculous on a
cold day on Kolob (where, undoubtedly, I'll be doing my womanly duty as a
perpetually pregnant wife (along with the 1000000000 others who share my
husband) after having been baptized post-mortem by my overzealous
relatives).
Which makes me wonder...you wouldn't happen to know if there'd be any way
one could have a legal injunction placed against the church so that they
CAN'T baptize that person after death? Not that I'm really concerned with
the way this works in the theoretical afterlife, but I find it sort of
obscene...
Anyway, kudos on sticking it to the Morons...er...damn, the backspace key
doesn't appear to be working.
- K
Sent: Wednesday, May 02, 2001
Subject: Your web-site
I want to thank you for such a refreshing and truly fun web-site.
I am sorry that I cannot credit your web site with my leaving the Mormon
Church. I had already had enough before I found the site. I began to
question, and as I did so, the members whom I had trusted and thought to be
my friends, began treating me like some sort of plague bearer. I ended up
being an outcast, which is interesting in a Mormon environment, because they
still pester you, they just shift it from home teachers and elders quorum
members to missionaries.
Anyway, I left the church about 3 years ago...actually my whole family did.
My wife confessed that she had joined because of me and had problems all
along. Well that is past, and we have a much happier life. We do not rely on
anyone anymore. We have cut out the middle man. If there is a God or creator
or whatever...I will take care of my relationship with them...I do not need
a priest or bishop or anyone else to intervene...and I will not be made to
feel guilty because someone died for me..I didn't ask him to, and as far as
I am concerned, if it did happen there was a ulterior motive anyway!
I suppose my only comment would be that Mormon's aren't the only ones who
deserve to be picked on. I think any group that bases it's entire system of
belief on a book (or compilation of books) written by a bunch of guys, years
ago...with no ability to even confirm the author, let alone the
content...this book, having been solely in the hands of an entity whose
entire existence relies upon people believing in the book at a time before
type-setting, so changes could be made without anyone noticing...anyone who
guides their life by that book is very sad indeed. One note...the very book
that I am talking about, which professes love to all and a following of 'the
golden rule, has an account of a prophet of god causing a bear to maul some
kids in the name of the lord, because those kids had called the prophet 'old
Baldy'....Hmmmmmmm.....
Anyway...as you can tell I am quite the cynic when it comes to religion,
particularly (but not limited to) Christianity, with a Mormon emphasis. I am
not outwardly this way, however, believing firmly that people should believe
what they want, especially if it makes them happy.
Thanks for the web-site. If you ever want some guest material for the site
let me know, I'd love to contribute. I have some good takes on the Mormon
experience, from a temple going, elder (not to mention 10% losing).
Best regards,
Larry
I was a Mormon Missionary in Seville, Spain from '86 to '88.
My experience as a missionary was a bit different from what
we always heard in church meetings would be "the greatest two
years of your life". Not only did I discover my own homosexuality
while on my mission (thanks to being given the opportunity to live
in close contact with other handsome young men (many of whom were
also gay, by the way!!)), but I was also
able to see through the giant deception which is Mormonism, and
all of Christianity in general.I would love to provide a link from your website to a website
which hosts a radio program I recently participated in creating
about my experiences as a gay Mormon Missionary:http://www.outrightradio.org/series2001.html
Finally - I would never have been able to break free from the mental
shackles of the LDS cult had it not been for the concerted efforts
and zeal of iconoclasts and philosophers like Friedrich Nietzsche,
and of course, like the venerable authors of this website!!
Thanks so much for your "good works"!!!If it helps just one poor mor(m)on see the light, it's worth it..
Elder Fifi
Sent: Tuesday, June 19, 2001
I found your website purely by chance while looking to expand my knowledge of religion. Although seemingly well researched it appears little more than a spiteful attack on those of the Mormon faith by a man with a childish sense of humour and too much time on his hands.So well done for that. When one has a childish sense of humour and too much time on ones hands what better thing to do than make spiteful attacks on such woefully stupid people. I live in Sydney, Australia, which they’ve decided, is somehow ripe for conquest. Every time I go to work there they are, every time I got to the gym there they are also.
"How you doing?" they ask with a distressing friendliness.
Often I reply with an equally friendly "Fuck off you wanker!" but it doesn’t do any good. With beatific grins they insipidly answer "Jesus loves you!"
On my way to work today I saw one of the white-shirted fanatics in conversation with an Indian. Thanks to your website I was able to interrupt and point out "According to the book of Mormon people of your skin colour are actually cursed by God. Are you sure you want to talk to such racists" I much more satisfying exchange. With the aid of your site I can now ask them "Are you wearing your magic underpants today?" or "Tell me again about the men that live in the moon?" Set about annoying them for a change.
Thank-you so much for creating this site. Oh, one question. Were any of Bingham Young's wives underage? If I’m going to accuse the Messiah of being a child molester I’d like to be sure of my facts.
Thanks again
DAVE
Subject: Hi... TR
Hi! Great [satiric ] site.
Why not also put some info on the paper quality etc on your page
with the temple recommend?
Is the pic 100% size?
Is that really where the paper is folded?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Ubi dubium, ibi libertas.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sent: Friday, October 12, 2001
Subject: I take back one of my earlier criticisms of your Mormon page.
A long time ago I criticized you for [saying]* certain things in your webpage. [...] People might assume that's what Mormons really believe and Mormons might give your work less notice than it deserves because of the [interpretation] on those few items. After becoming more upset with their system of beliefs and practices and recently reading some of the replies to your Mormon site I'm now thinking that my earlier criticism was unjustified.I think you have a special ability to [explain] the Mormon beliefs that should be encouraged. Others can criticize them point by point, identifying what Mormons believe and why they are ludicrous. Your method is different, but also effective. The replies to your pages show to the more skeptical readers how gullible most Mormons and others are even when faced with such an obvious case of [correctly-translating] Mormonism.
After noticing others liked it, I read your Jive [Ebonic] version of the Masturbation article. I thought it was great. Did you do it, or did someone else do it for you?
Could you do Jive versions of more talks by the Brethren or parts of the Mormon scriptures? This could be as influential as political cartoons.
Keep up the good work.
John.
* [Some items in brackets were edited. --Ed.]
From: Joey
Sent: Saturday, October 13, 2001
Subject: Catholic with thanks
Wow, this web site nearly saved my religious sanity! Thanks! I'm 14 years old and a devout Catholic. Although this web site seems heavily atheist-run, I don't mind. Even though I am pretty bright and well educated in my faith, I was drawn into Mormonism by missionaries. But of course in my naiveté due to age, I was suckered into their "we are the true church" bullsh#@ and all of their revival crap which I think appeals to people that are in religions that use a lot of sometimes over-repeated traditions and ritual (They're important, though) . I think this is a great web page for it also displays the idiocy of the Mormon religion with a ton of laughs. Anyway thanks for inadvertently keeping me in a religion that uses both brains and faith.
Thankfully,
Joey
Dear Atheists;
I'm an atheist in Texas. My wife and I are working on a costume dictionary and we stumbled upon the concept of Mormon underwear. We would like to include any terms and possibly some drawings the would describe the garments. Are there specific names for them? How many different kinds are there? Is there a catalogue from which they can be ordered?
Dan
did the LDS Church pull the Handbook?
btw: absolutely awesome website. I have spent hours on it, and as a non-LDS, Utah resident... have learned much.
Thanks for spending the time to put this together and let me know If I can be of any help.
Eric
You guys have a great sense of humor! I was laughing so hard I almost choked!
Keep up the good work!
> Date: Tue, 25 Jun 2002
> +--------------------------------------------------+
> Here is something you might like!
>
> http://nowscape.com/mormons1.htm
> Hi Mary, take alook at this...ha ha. Handshakes, garments, negros,
> wankin, you name it its here...
> +--------------------------------------------------+
-----Original Message-----
From: Chris
Sent: Monday, July 22, 2002
Subject: "Mormon Masturbation"--yet another anti-article opinion
No offence, but I think your site is ridiculous. I am not a Mormon myself (and I don't know anyone from Utah), and I have to agree with a lot of the reader responses posted.
Throughout the article, you supply information, then fail to source it. To many, this gives the impression that you made everything up, especially when there is no actual evidence to support this
Then you say that it is a sinful practice, "dirtying" the body. How you came by this conclusion I shall not know, as Christians also regard sex with contempt (and your religion is, as far as I'm aware, an extension of the Christian belief). However, in the Bible, there is a book that is about the joys of sexuality. In fact, it was never said that intercourse was a sin if it is consensual.
And your advice in overcoming masturbation is also ridiculous. "Do not lie in bed awake, no matter what time of day it is". That to me suggests that I should be roaming around at night (and I still live with my family). Your aversion therapy isn't just going to repress masturbation, but it also will repress sexuality--as soon as a man achieves erection, he will be turned off and it will be impossible for him to reproduce. And then you encourage people to humiliate themselves. Some do feel comfortable with nudism, but there are a lot that don't. And you're humiliating those that don't. Especially when they are physically unclean.
And your advice is directed at men only. Most girls masturbate too.
The site is ridiculous.
Chris
