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Theology: Mormonism on Space Travel... ...It revolves near the planets OLIBLISH and ENISH-GO-ON-DOSH. |
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The Moon
We believe that human beings inhabit the Moon. The Mormon
Seer and Revelator, Brigham Young, for whom a University is named, revealed in 1870, that the Mormon
MOON-MEN were similar to earthlings, except that they are much taller. Moon-men, Young teaches us, dress like Quakers. Brigham Young -- in a
vision -- had visited the inhabitants on the far side of the Moon...
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(Journal of Discourses., 1871, p. 27 1) |
Our great Mormon apostle, the late Bruce R. McConkie, reminds us that in Mormon theology God created "worlds without number". He also reminds us that Mormons believe that "there live aliens on other planets unknown to us". McConkie tells us that these planets are "inhabited by male and female humanoids who are redeemed with immortality and offered eternal life through the power of Heavenly Father."
The Planet KOLOB
Mormon Theologians agree that God lives on a distant planet, the
planet KOLOB. It's located in the constellation Cancer, sector 2813. Kolob means "the
first creation" -- which is "nearest to the celestial, or the residence of
God", as McConkie assures us.
"Our scriptures say that God told Moses only about this planet," said LDS apostle Neal A. Maxwell in a recent television interview. "But we're not worshiping a one-planet God." (Salt Lake Tribune Aug 1996 Vol. 252 No. 118)
We believe that Mormonism is an outer-space-oriented religion. One of our Scriptures state -- as far it has been translated correctly
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" And thus there shall be the reckoning of the time of one planet Book of Abraham Translation by Prophet Joseph Smith, from hieroglyphics on papyrus (Facsimile 1) |
| And the evidence is coming in! | ||
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Until recently, the star which Kolob orbits has not been known. In late 1999, Mormon astronomers at Brigham Young University, using the Hubble telescope, obtained faint images of this star, which they tentatively named Kakistocra-99b2.* It turns out that Kakistocra falls squarely just next to our sun on the famous Hertzsprung-Russell diagram of stellar evolution. [Kakistocra is a G2.5 type star.] Image of Kakistocra-77b2
near upper right |
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This lends further support to the Mormon claim that Kolob is an Earth-like planet, just one of Elohim's "worlds without number (Other authorities disagree: Isaiah 30:26). As the Mormon apostle Maxwell puts it, "There are other humanoids on other planets unknown to us."
Unfortunately, the planet Kolob itself has not yet been imaged. Plans are underway by BYU astronomers, using the new three meter active optics telescope on the summit of Mauna Kea in Hawaii, to image this star in the infrared spectrum.
The Voyager space craft which was launched many years ago, and which is heading out into the interstellar medium, is by coincidence heading in the direction of the star Kakistocra. It will, in the year A.D. 2882900, approach the Kakistocra system in sector 2812, within about 300,000 kilometers.
This is a flea's hop on the cosmological scale! It's so close, it would be a bit like hearing the airline pilot announce "Our flight today will take us by the city of Salt Lake, 3 inches away from it." Cosmic Coincidence?
Perhaps Jesus-Jehovah, or
one of the angels or some alien astronaut, as yet unhatched and living on his planet of pre-existence, will intercept Voyager. Perhaps
the Golden Phonograph Record, which is on board of Voyager will at some distant future day
be played on a celestial phonograph! The church has told us, that because of divine revelation, it has asked NASA to engrave on this Golden Platter, a cut from the Mormon
Tabernacle's rendition of "When I Hie to Kolob". Such possibilities are enough to make one think!
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Space aliens?
Link: A
Video |
This is Cool! YOU |
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The Bible teaches us (Genesis 6.4) that even today, God's sons, (the giant Nephites) , travel to earth from the planet Kolob, to have sex with Mormon women. With faster propulsion systems, and with the desire to do so, it would be possible for space craft from Earth to reach the planet Kolob much sooner. |
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The Other Mormon Planets
In his famous Facsimile 2, an Egyptian papyrus which Joseph Smith translated, the
Mormon prophet reveals several other Mormon celestial objects. Amongst them are the planet Oliblish and the planet Enish - go - on - dosh.
Mormons believe that a man from Kolob, and his wives, are entitled to four annual (Kolobian years) space trips to visit the Temple of Fertility on the planet Kolob
travel to Oliblish, providing he "maintaineth righteousness in all things".
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Facsimile 1, Facsimile 2, Facsimile 3 and Facsimile
B are stored in the Mormon church's archives and can be made available to qualified researchers. An alternate (and wrong) translation of Facsimile 2. by modern
Egyptologists is here. Facsimile 1 was used by smith as source of the Holy Mormon scripture, The
Book of Abraham. In it -- as far as it has been translated correctly -- we find the true reason of why we believe that Black people are
inferior.
The Mormon Tabernacle Choir
One cornerstone of our faith is space travel. Sometimes we take solo flights, and sometimes we cruise
supraluminously, en masse. Here on earth we often remind each other of this in church, by joining in song. Here is the Mormon Tabernacle Choir's rendition of
"If You Could Hie*To
Kolob".
* definition: hie, hied, hie·ing or hy·ing, hies. To go quickly; hasten. [Middle English hien, from Old English higian, to strive, exert oneself.]
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Amazon.com |
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The Holy Qur'an: Text, Abdullah Yusuf Ali (Editor) |
Holy Bible:
Holy Bible on |
The God Makers
Christians may find this |
Ken's Guide to the Bible |
Not all Mormons are astronauts
We believe that almost everyone from Earth once lived in outer space -- but there are rare exceptions. Three
people who lived a long long time ago -- never died. They trek our planet doing good deeds to Mormons who are worthy. It's all proven in the Book of Mormon,
3-Nephi 28.
The Liahona
The Heavenly Father gave
early Mormons a device which was useful in navigation on the surface of planet
earth as well as in outer space. It was used much like the
present-day Geographical
Positioning
Satellite (GPS)
system. It is called the Liahona
and looks like this:
It is called the Liahona and looks like this:
![Early Navigation Device [GPS]](liahona_s.gif)
Today, it is stored deep within a mountain vault in
Little Cottonwood Canyon near Salt Lake City, Utah, USA. (This is also where the church stores valuable genealogical records -- of almost every person on earth).
Mormon holy texts reveal -- as far as they were translated correctly -- that our universe is inhabited by many alien space civilizations, each of which is governed by a resurrected Mormon male who has proven himself worthy of being a God for one or more planets.
Polytheism
Because we believe that trillions gods exist, Mormonism is a polytheistic religion. Nevertheless,
we only worship one god, our Heavenly Father. But we do also revere Mother Gonhorra. Moreover, we do pray in the name of our Jesus-Jehovah twinity. Of course we despise
Beelzebub, the devil.
Other than these we really have no deities. We make little or no use of the Virgin Mary who lives with Moses near a city named Kli - tin - ur - gash, on Kolob.
Joseph, scripture reveals, has remarried one-hundred-and- one fold. He is the priest and administrator of The temple on planet Oliblish.
The Gods
Mormon scholars are in disagreement about whether the gods are
arranged in a hierarchical order, with Kolob's Jehovah at the top, or whether all gods are
equal and can do as they please, in their respective spheres of influence.
Some Mormon Thinkers maintain that Yahweh, the god of earthlings is the main god, who governs all other gods in the universe. Strict adherents to Mormon Thought point to the first commandment, which, while admitting that other gods exists, admonishes us that Jehovah is superior to all other gods.
The Doctrine of Free Agency
Liberal Mormon scholars believe that all gods are equal and can rule
however they please. They cite the Mormon Doctrine of Free Agency to support their claim.
After all, they argue, if Gods cannot do as they please, they would have no free agency,
and thus could not be all powerful. This thesis seems to be the most accepted one at
present. It's a difficult conundrum that Mormonism faces, in the absence of clear hieroglyphics
on this topic.
One question presents itself
Which god's rules should a prudent
space traveler obey, if traveling from the dominion of one god to the region of influence
of another god? For example, it's just possible that some gods would allow, perhaps
require, the drinking of coffee or wine, as a holy sacrament. At the same time this god
might prohibit polygamy, the use of secret hand-clasps, and the wearing of special underwear -- all very Mormon activities. What would a good Mormon from Planet Earth (or Kolob) do in this case?
Monogamy
Monogamy is a much fairer proposition for beings with X-Y chromosomes. Like all mammals, humans have an equal chance of inheriting the X-girl and
the Y-boy chromosome. That's why the number of males and females on Earth is roughly
equal.
Monogamy gives one spouse to everyone -- few males can hoard a harem of thousands. But it's no so on Kolob. On God's home planet millions of lonely, excess males reach daily to onanistic auto-eroticism.
Drinking
Mormons are not allowed
to drink hot drinks and alcohol. Nor are they allowed to eat meat, except
during inclement weather ("Word
of Wisdom").
Little publicized Mormon Scripture reveals, as far as it has been translated
correctly, that our god Yahweh at one time toyed with the idea of letting
earthlings drink coffee. Yahweh made the coffee plant, after all. It has been
cultivated near the Red Sea since about AD 675. And it's a fact that caffeine is
one of the most benign drugs known to man. "Recent findings, that
alcohol in -- moderation -- is actually good for one, are to be ignored,"
said
LaTreena Peoria, LDS spokesperson, in 1991, in response to new scientific
evidence. "If spirits were good for the spirit, God would have revealed this a
long time ago.
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Drinking Alcohol
Passed December 12, 1843. |
Space Travel, continued...
So, what would the prudent space traveler do, for example, when entering the domain of an alien god? Should
he or she leave
behind the mores of their former existence and adopt the new values? Should one steadfastly cling to the values of the old religion, and hope that the new God would be
understanding, and make an exception? Should a space alien, upon entering our solar system, learn and accept Jehovah's commandments, and reject that good
old-time religion taught on the home planet?
Crystal Spheres
It is problems such as this which has lead Mormon scholars to
recognize the only solution to this paradox: Space travel is impossible! Especially, when
god-dominions are to be crossed.
Mormon intellectuals maintain that there are invisible crystal spheres surrounding stars, which act as a barrier to space travel. It's true, the barriers are invisible, because when we look at stars we can look right through the intervening crystal spheres!
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In fact, our Mormon scripture, the Doctrine of Covenants, teaches us that he idea of crystal spheres
transubstantiates, yeah, even onto the planet KOLOB, from whence we all came -
- and to which we strive to return. |
But we know by Faith and Scripture that the barriers are there. Even with the unaided eye, one can see galaxies and nebulae billions of light years distant, objects that are much further away than the planet Kolob! No doubt the Voyager space probe will soon bump up against the boundary for Jehovah's realm. It is then that we may finally know the face of God, and the persona of his #1 wife, Mother Gonhorra.
Pay lay ale! These things I say in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
A reader's correctly translated translation is here -- Thank you!
Footnote:
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After Kakistocra's listing by its scientific number and RA/DEC coordinates in the BYU discovery paper, The Mormon astronomers at BYU might have named it according to its number, Moody 95. However, in honor of the 100th anniversary of Mother Kakistocra's passing this star was named in her eternal memory. During her reign, she had given birth birth to 62,055 healthy, perfect children including over 3500 twins, 1897 triplets, 987 quadruplets through septuplets, In addition the precious vessel, our holy Mother Kakistocra produced higher orders of baby-tuples including three sets of 24-tuple siblings. On Kolob, the gestation period is only about 90 days. Births on Kolob yield almost all females. This is mandatory so that polygamy can be practiced by all males.
After her death, Mother Kakistocra's spirit traveled to the spirit world of the LDS High Order Universe (HOU, see knows as Hou-ku-kau-beam). Since her reincarnation, she lives as a peasant girl on the planet Nemesisi in HOU, in order to become a precious goddess vessel yet again by proving her worthiness to Elo-hou. Elohu is Elohim's God).
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